Divorce. Just saying the word can stir up a lot of emotions, right? For some, it brings up painful memories; for others, it’s a question they’re wrestling with now. Maybe you’re wondering, “What does the Bible say about divorce?”—or you’re here to get clarity on something you’ve heard.
Well, you’re in good company. Divorce has been a deeply debated issue for centuries, and I believe that Scripture provides some clear guidance on this, though it’s not always a black-and-white topic. There are nuances, historical contexts, and, yes, even room for grace.
In fact, from the Old Testament laws to Jesus’ teachings in the New Testament, divorce is addressed in various ways. And depending on how far into Christian theology you want to go, you might even encounter different interpretations across denominations. So, let’s take a walk through these passages together—I’ll break it down as simply as possible and hopefully answer that burning question: What does the Bible say about divorce?
But, I should warn you—sometimes the Bible’s answers aren’t always what we expect, and occasionally, they’re hard to hear. Nevertheless, there’s always hope, always grace, and always a path forward. Let’s get started.
Divorce in the Old Testament
When we open up the Old Testament, the first thing we notice is that divorce isn’t exactly portrayed as part of God’s original plan. God designed marriage to be a lifelong covenant between two people—something sacred, meant to reflect His faithfulness and love. But as we see time and again, humanity being, well… human, things didn’t always go according to plan.
The Law of Moses on Divorce (Deuteronomy 24:1-4)
In Deuteronomy 24, we come across one of the clearest passages where divorce is mentioned explicitly under the Mosaic Law. Now, if you’re picturing an ancient legal code, you’re on the right track. Divorce under this law wasn’t exactly encouraged—it was more like a regulated option when marriages couldn’t be saved.
Deuteronomy 24:1-4 talks about a man giving his wife a “certificate of divorce” if he finds “some indecency” in her. I know, that phrase can be a bit vague, right? Scholars have debated over what exactly “indecency” means here. In ancient Israel, this may have referred to serious offenses like sexual immorality, but the text itself isn’t crystal clear. What we do know is that the certificate of divorce was a formal, legal document that protected the woman. Without it, she’d be vulnerable—socially and economically.
What’s also interesting is the follow-up: the law prohibits the husband from remarrying his ex-wife if she has since married another man and divorced again. It’s like the Old Testament is saying, “Hold on, marriage isn’t something you just slip in and out of—it’s serious!” Even within the law, there’s an underlying reverence for the marriage covenant.
Malachi’s View on Divorce (Malachi 2:16)
If you want to know how God feels about divorce, Malachi 2:16 doesn’t hold back: “For I hate divorce, says the Lord, the God of Israel.”
Now, that’s a pretty strong statement, right? But it tells us something important—divorce wasn’t what God intended for marriage. In this passage, Malachi is rebuking the men of Israel who were faithlessly divorcing their wives. It wasn’t just a legal issue; it was a heart issue. The people were treating marriage lightly, and God’s response was a clear call to remain faithful to their covenant, just as He remains faithful to His people.
The broader context of this passage also speaks to God’s covenant love. Marriage is a reflection of God’s relationship with us—built on love, faithfulness, and commitment. So when the Israelites were quick to break their marriage vows, they were also reflecting a distorted view of God’s unwavering commitment to them.
Closing Thoughts on Old Testament Divorce Laws
The Old Testament paints a picture of divorce as something that was allowed but certainly not ideal. It was more about dealing with the reality of human brokenness rather than endorsing divorce. From the Law of Moses to the prophetic words in Malachi, we see that divorce was treated as a last resort, not an option to be taken lightly.
God’s design for marriage was always about covenant, commitment, and faithfulness—a reflection of His unbreakable love for us. And while the law permitted divorce, it came with limitations and consequences, signaling that it wasn’t something to be done without careful thought.
Divorce in the Teachings of Jesus (New Testament)
When it comes to divorce, Jesus doesn’t shy away from laying down some pretty direct teachings. In fact, His words can come across as a bit startling—especially when compared to the allowances made under the Old Testament law. Jesus raises the bar and calls people back to God’s original design for marriage, making it clear that this covenant isn’t something to break lightly.
The Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:31-32)
We find Jesus addressing the issue of divorce in one of His most famous teachings—the Sermon on the Mount. In Matthew 5:31-32, He says, “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”
Okay, let’s unpack that a bit because there’s a lot going on here.
First, Jesus is referencing the same law we discussed earlier from Deuteronomy 24—the one about giving a certificate of divorce. But instead of simply affirming that law, Jesus tightens things up. Essentially, He’s saying that divorce isn’t just a legal matter; it has deep spiritual implications.
The phrase “except for sexual immorality” (sometimes translated as “except for marital unfaithfulness”) is what theologians call the “exception clause.” Jesus is saying that adultery is the one legitimate grounds for divorce in His teaching. This was a radical shift from the more lenient interpretations of the Law of Moses that allowed divorce for various reasons.
The implications of this teaching are profound. Jesus is making it clear that marriage is meant to be a lifelong commitment, reflecting the serious nature of this covenant. In essence, divorce (outside of marital unfaithfulness) leads to adultery because it undermines the integrity of the marital bond.
Jesus’ Confrontation with the Pharisees (Matthew 19:3-9)
If there’s one passage that really showcases Jesus’ thoughts on divorce, it’s Matthew 19:3-9. Here, the Pharisees come to test Him with a loaded question: “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”
Now, this wasn’t a random question. At the time, there was a heated debate between two schools of thought in Judaism—those who followed Rabbi Hillel, who taught that a man could divorce his wife for nearly any reason (even something as trivial as burning dinner!), and those who followed Rabbi Shammai, who argued that divorce was only permissible in cases of sexual immorality.
Jesus’ response must have left the Pharisees stunned. Instead of siding with either view, He takes them all the way back to the beginning—back to Genesis. He says, “Haven’t you read… that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Jesus emphasizes that marriage is God’s design, not just a legal arrangement. The “one flesh” concept is key here—marriage creates a bond so intimate and sacred that it’s meant to be unbreakable.
The Pharisees, being the clever group they are, push back: “Why then did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
Jesus’ reply is telling: “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.” And then, He repeats His earlier teaching, saying that divorce, except for sexual immorality, leads to adultery.
What’s clear in this passage is that Jesus sees divorce as a concession to human sinfulness. God’s ideal plan for marriage is lifelong faithfulness, but because people are flawed, divorce became a necessary option to deal with the messiness of human relationships. Even then, Jesus limits the reasons for divorce and reaffirms the sanctity of the marriage covenant.
Summing Up Jesus’ Teachings
Jesus doesn’t treat divorce lightly—far from it. He challenges His followers to view marriage as a sacred covenant meant to last a lifetime. While the Old Testament law allowed for divorce due to human weakness, Jesus calls us back to God’s original intent. The only allowance He makes is for marital unfaithfulness, showing that even in a broken world, marriage is something to be honored and protected.
Paul’s Teaching on Divorce in 1 Corinthians 7
By the time we get to the apostle Paul’s letters, the early Christian church is facing a new set of challenges around marriage, especially in communities where believers and non-believers were marrying. In his first letter to the Corinthians, Paul steps in to offer some much-needed guidance on the topic of marriage and divorce. His approach is pastoral, practical, and full of wisdom for a complex situation.
Divorce Among Believers
Paul starts off addressing married couples who are both believers. In 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, he writes, “To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.”
Right off the bat, Paul makes it clear that his instruction is based on Jesus’ earlier teachings. For believers, the goal is reconciliation, not separation. If a couple does divorce, Paul strongly advises them to either remain single or seek reconciliation with each other. He’s holding up the ideal that Jesus emphasized: marriage is meant to be a lifelong commitment.
But what happens when reality hits, right? Paul isn’t blind to the fact that divorce happens, even among believers. Still, his counsel is that divorce should never be the first choice, and where possible, reconciliation should always be pursued.
Divorce Between Believers and Unbelievers
Now, things get a bit more complicated when Paul shifts his attention to marriages where one spouse is a believer and the other is not. In 1 Corinthians 7:12-15, Paul offers what is often referred to as his own pastoral advice—this time, not explicitly quoting Jesus’ teachings.
He says, “If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.”
Paul’s advice here is rooted in the hope that the believing spouse might be a positive spiritual influence on the unbelieving partner. His encouragement to stay married reflects the idea that love and faithfulness can bear witness to the transforming power of faith.
However, Paul also offers a bit of a caveat: “But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.” This is often referred to as the “Pauline privilege.” If an unbelieving spouse decides to leave the marriage, the believing partner is no longer bound by the marriage covenant. In other words, Paul recognizes that peace and wholeness are important, and that sometimes, staying in a marriage where one partner is unwilling or hostile is not God’s will.
Emphasizing Reconciliation Over Divorce
In both scenarios—whether between two believers or a believer and a non-believer—Paul’s heart is always leaning toward reconciliation. He understands the realities of life in a fallen world, but he also upholds the sanctity of marriage. His pastoral wisdom offers balance: marriage is to be honored, but peace and grace are also essential.
Paul’s teachings emphasize that while divorce is not ideal, there are circumstances in which it may be the best option for the sake of peace and faith. And for Christians, the door to reconciliation should always remain open as long as it is possible.
Summing Up Paul’s Teaching
Paul’s guidance on marriage and divorce is deeply practical. For believers, divorce is not something to rush into—it’s a last resort, and reconciliation should be the primary goal. But Paul also acknowledges that when dealing with mixed-faith marriages, there are complexities, and sometimes divorce is inevitable, especially when it leads to peace. His teaching encourages faithfulness, patience, and wisdom, always keeping the heart of God’s design for marriage in view.
Common Interpretations and Denominational Views on Divorce
If you’ve spent any time discussing divorce in Christian circles, you’ve probably noticed that not everyone agrees on what the Bible says about it. That’s because, over the centuries, various Christian denominations and theologians have interpreted the relevant biblical passages differently. Some lean towards a strict interpretation, while others allow for more nuance, especially when it comes to issues like remarriage.
Varying Perspectives on Divorce
Let’s start by acknowledging that there are significant differences between denominations when it comes to divorce. While every branch of Christianity agrees that marriage is sacred and should be protected, there’s a wide range of opinions about when, if ever, divorce is permissible.
- The Catholic Church: In Roman Catholicism, divorce is not recognized in the same way it is in other Christian traditions. Catholics believe that marriage is a sacrament—a sacred covenant that cannot be broken by any human decision. Because of this, the Catholic Church does not allow divorce. However, Catholics can seek an annulment, which is a declaration by the Church that a valid sacramental marriage never actually took place due to certain conditions not being met (e.g., lack of consent or maturity at the time of the wedding). Annulments can often be misunderstood. They are not the same as divorce; they declare that from the Church’s perspective, the marriage was never sacramentally valid. This has allowed some Catholics to remarry in the Church, provided an annulment is granted.
- Protestant Views: Protestant denominations, on the other hand, are typically more flexible when it comes to divorce. Most Protestant traditions recognize that, while divorce is not God’s ideal, it is sometimes necessary. Many Protestant churches, including Evangelical and mainline denominations like Lutherans, Methodists, and Baptists, tend to follow the teachings of Jesus in Matthew 5 and 19. These passages allow for divorce in cases of sexual immorality, often understood to include things like adultery and other serious breaches of the marriage covenant. Some Protestants also consider abandonment or abuse as legitimate grounds for divorce, though these interpretations vary widely from church to church. While remarriage after divorce is allowed in many Protestant traditions, it is often carefully considered, especially in more conservative denominations.
- Eastern Orthodox Church: The Eastern Orthodox Church takes a middle-ground approach. Divorce is considered a tragic consequence of human sin, but it is sometimes permitted. The Orthodox Church allows for divorce in cases of adultery, abandonment, and other severe circumstances, and remarriage is generally allowed but is accompanied by a more penitential second wedding ceremony. The Orthodox tradition emphasizes the need for pastoral care in these situations, recognizing that while divorce is not God’s original intention for marriage, it is sometimes necessary due to human failings.
Divorce and Remarriage
Now, remarriage after divorce—that’s where things can get even more complex, depending on who you ask.
- Catholic View on Remarriage: For Catholics, remarriage after a civil divorce (without an annulment) is considered adultery. The Church believes that if the first marriage was valid, it remains valid in God’s eyes, regardless of what the legal system says. This teaching is based on Jesus’ words in Matthew 19:9, where He speaks of remarriage after divorce as adultery, except in cases of marital unfaithfulness.
- Protestant Views on Remarriage: Protestant churches are more lenient when it comes to remarriage, particularly when divorce occurred for biblical reasons such as infidelity or abandonment. In some Protestant traditions, remarriage is permitted after divorce if the reasons align with scriptural exceptions, especially those found in Matthew 19 and 1 Corinthians 7. However, some conservative branches of Protestantism may still hold reservations about remarriage, particularly if the divorce did not occur under biblically sanctioned circumstances.
- Orthodox View on Remarriage: In the Eastern Orthodox Church, remarriage is allowed, but it comes with a more somber tone. The Orthodox recognize that a second marriage does not carry the same joy as the first, as it represents a “concession to human weakness.” While remarriage is permitted, it often includes a penitential aspect, acknowledging the sorrow that comes with divorce.
Summing Up the Views on Divorce
What we see across Christian denominations is a shared belief in the sanctity of marriage, but different ways of applying the Bible’s teachings on divorce and remarriage. For Catholics, marriage is an unbreakable sacrament, and annulments provide the only path for remarriage. Protestants tend to be more flexible, recognizing divorce in cases of unfaithfulness or abuse. The Orthodox Church, meanwhile, allows for divorce but treats remarriage with a degree of solemnity.
While there are differences, all traditions agree that marriage is sacred, and divorce should be approached with deep reverence and care.
The Grace of God and Healing After Divorce
When divorce happens, it’s never easy. It’s painful, messy, and often leaves a trail of emotional, spiritual, and even physical wounds. But here’s the good news: God’s grace is bigger than our brokenness. I’ve seen it time and time again—whether you’re the one who initiated the divorce or the one left behind, there’s grace and healing available.
Divorce and Forgiveness
Let’s start with the question that tends to linger for many people: “Can God forgive me for getting a divorce?” The answer is a resounding yes. The Bible is filled with stories of people who failed in one way or another, yet God’s mercy was always extended to them. Divorce, while not God’s ideal plan for marriage, is not beyond His grace.
One passage that stands out is Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” This verse reminds us that God draws near to us in our most vulnerable moments. Divorce may shatter the ideal of marriage, but it doesn’t place anyone outside the reach of God’s forgiveness and love. If you’re carrying guilt, I encourage you to bring that before God—He is more than willing to extend grace and restore what’s broken.
Romans 8:1 is another verse worth meditating on: “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” This is crucial. If you’ve repented and sought God’s guidance, you’re not condemned—you’re forgiven. No matter how painful the divorce may have been, it doesn’t define your relationship with God.
Hope for the Divorced
Divorce can leave you feeling like your world has crumbled, but it’s not the end of your story. God is in the business of redemption—He can take the pieces of your life and build something new. I’ve met people who, after experiencing the devastation of divorce, found that God led them to a new season of healing, growth, and sometimes even a second marriage that reflected God’s love more deeply than the first.
One of the most powerful things Scripture offers to those going through a divorce is hope. Isaiah 61:1-3 speaks of God’s promise to “bind up the broken-hearted” and “bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes.” What a beautiful picture! God doesn’t leave us in our brokenness. Instead, He restores, heals, and brings beauty out of even the darkest situations.
Practical Steps for Healing
If you’re in the midst of—or recovering from—a divorce, the healing process will take time, but there are practical steps you can take:
- Lean on Your Faith Community: Don’t go through this alone. Reach out to your church, a trusted pastor, or a support group. Surround yourself with people who can pray with you, listen to you, and encourage you. Galatians 6:2 reminds us to “carry each other’s burdens,” and this is a time when you need that support more than ever.
- Seek Biblical Counseling: A trained Christian counselor can help you process the emotions and spiritual struggles that come with divorce. Counseling isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a way to allow God to work through others to bring healing.
- Take Time to Grieve: Divorce is a loss, and like any loss, it needs to be grieved. Allow yourself to feel the pain, cry if you need to, and be honest with God about your emotions. Psalm 56:8 says that God collects every tear in a bottle—He sees your pain, and He cares deeply.
- Trust in God’s Timing: Healing from divorce won’t happen overnight. It’s a process, and there will be ups and downs along the way. But trust that God is working, even in the waiting. Jeremiah 29:11 promises that God has plans for your future—plans for hope and not for harm.
Embracing Grace and Moving Forward
There comes a point in the healing process when it’s time to move forward. This doesn’t mean you forget the past or pretend the pain didn’t happen, but it does mean embracing the grace that God offers and stepping into the next chapter of your life.
Philippians 3:13-14 offers some beautiful encouragement: “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Divorce is part of your story, but it’s not the end of your story. With God’s grace, you can press on, knowing that He has good things in store for you.
Whether that means finding peace in singleness, embracing a new ministry, or even entering into a new relationship down the road, God’s plans for you are good. Divorce doesn’t disqualify you from His love or His purpose for your life.
Conclusion: God’s Design, Our Reality, and His Grace
Divorce is never part of God’s original design for marriage, and that much is clear throughout the Bible. From the Old Testament’s regulations in the Law of Moses to Jesus’ teachings on the sanctity of marriage, we see that God intended for marriage to be a lifelong, faithful union. But as we all know, life doesn’t always go according to plan, and relationships can break down for all kinds of reasons.
Whether it’s because of unfaithfulness, abuse, abandonment, or the gradual erosion of love and trust, divorce happens. And while the Bible doesn’t shy away from the fact that divorce grieves God’s heart, it also reminds us time and time again that His grace is bigger than our brokenness.
No matter what your situation is—whether you’ve been divorced, are thinking about it, or are supporting someone through it—remember that God’s love for you is unwavering. There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ, and there’s always a path toward healing and hope, even in the wake of a broken marriage.
At the end of the day, God’s grace covers it all. And as you navigate the complexities of marriage, divorce, or anything in between, know that His arms are always open, offering love, forgiveness, and a way forward.
Key Takeaways:
- Marriage is sacred in both the Old and New Testaments, meant to reflect God’s faithful covenant with His people.
- Divorce, while not part of God’s ideal plan, was permitted under certain circumstances due to human sinfulness and brokenness.
- Jesus’ teaching on divorce is clear—marriage is meant to be lifelong, with sexual immorality being the primary legitimate reason for divorce.
- Paul’s teachings extend grace and practical wisdom, especially in situations involving marriages between believers and unbelievers.
- Christian denominations vary in their interpretations of divorce and remarriage, but all agree on the sanctity of marriage.
- God’s grace and forgiveness are available for all who have experienced divorce, offering healing, redemption, and hope for the future.
Scholarly Citations:
- Collins, Raymond F.
Divorce in the New Testament. Liturgical Press, 1992.- This is a comprehensive exploration of how divorce is addressed in the New Testament, with special focus on Jesus’ teachings and Paul’s pastoral advice in 1 Corinthians 7. Collins is a well-respected New Testament scholar, and his work is widely cited in biblical studies.
- Heth, William A., and Gordon J. Wenham.
Jesus and Divorce: The Problem with the Evangelical Consensus. Wipf & Stock, 2002.- This book challenges some traditional evangelical interpretations of Jesus’ teachings on divorce, particularly around the “exception clause” and remarriage. It’s an essential resource for understanding alternative views in biblical scholarship.
- Instone-Brewer, David.
Divorce and Remarriage in the Bible: The Social and Literary Context. Eerdmans, 2002.- Instone-Brewer offers a detailed examination of divorce laws in Jewish and Greco-Roman contexts and how they influence biblical texts. This book is invaluable for understanding the cultural background of biblical divorce passages.
- Schreiner, Thomas R.
“Divorce and Remarriage: A Biblical Perspective.” The Southern Baptist Journal of Theology, vol. 6, no. 1, 2002, pp. 18–41.- Schreiner, a respected Southern Baptist scholar, discusses divorce and remarriage from a biblical perspective, offering a conservative theological viewpoint that is often cited in evangelical circles.
- Malina, Bruce J.
The New Testament World: Insights from Cultural Anthropology. 3rd ed., Westminster John Knox Press, 2001.- Although this work covers a broad range of cultural issues, Malina provides important context on marriage, divorce, and family life in the New Testament world, making it useful for understanding how divorce was viewed in ancient societies.
Further Reading and Resources:
- “Divorce and Remarriage in the Church” by Guy Duty
- A straightforward, pastoral look at how churches can support those dealing with divorce while remaining faithful to biblical teachings. This book is helpful for pastors or lay leaders.
- “What the Bible Says about Divorce and Remarriage“ by Wayne Grudem
- Grudem explores various biblical passages on divorce and remarriage, offering interpretations from a Reformed evangelical perspective.
- “Covenant Marriage in Comparative Perspective“ by John Witte Jr.
- While focused on marriage as a covenant, this book gives a great backdrop to why marriage and divorce were such pivotal theological concerns, especially in the Protestant tradition.
- “The Case for Divorce” – Christianity Today Article
- This article explores modern interpretations and pastoral challenges surrounding divorce in evangelical churches, with practical insights from current Christian leaders.
- “DivorceCare” Ministry Resources
- DivorceCare (www.divorcecare.org) is a Christian ministry offering support groups and counseling resources for those going through divorce. This resource is invaluable for practical, faith-based guidance.
Online Bible Commentaries (for specific verse study):
- Matthew Henry’s Commentary on the Whole Bible
- Available for free online, this classic commentary provides a detailed, theologically rich look at key divorce passages in both the Old and New Testaments.
- The IVP New Testament Commentary Series
- A more modern resource, the IVP series includes specific volumes on Matthew, Mark, and 1 Corinthians, which will provide deeper insights into the key biblical texts on divorce.
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I deeply appreciate how you’ve approached the complex and oftentimes painful topic of divorce, Sam. Your exploration of scriptures from both the Old and New Testament, as well as Paul’s teachings, offers a comprehensive view that’s both enlightening and comforting. It’s a gentle reminder that while God’s plan may be for unity, His grace and forgiveness can cover all in times of separation. This was an eye-opening read!
so what does paul actually say about being divorced with someone who isn’t a believer? i get confused on this part.
While I find your exposition on biblical views of divorce insightful, I question whether these ancient texts can truly speak to the modern complexities of failing marriages. How do we reconcile these teachings with the need for personal happiness and fulfillment?
i think its all about finding balance and understanding god wants us happy too. just a thought 🙂
interesting read. never knew the bible had so much to say on divorce. wondering how those who follow these teachings navigate this in today’s world.